| C ‑ F C | You know I love that organic cooking, I always ask for more |
| ‑ A D G | And they call me Mr. Natural on down to the health food store |
| C ‑ F C | I only eat good sea salt, white sugar don't touch my lips |
| C A DG C | And my friends (is) always beg(ging) me to take them on macrobiotic trips, (yes they are) |
| Am ‑ Dm Am | Oh, but at night I take out my strongbox that I keep under lock and key |
| ‑ ‑ D G | And I take it off to my closet where nobody else can see |
| Am ‑ Dm Am | I open that door so slowly, take a peek up north and south |
| C A DG C | Then I pull out a Hostess Twinkie and I pop it in my mouth! |
| F C G C | Yeah, in the daytime I'm Mr. Natural, just as healthy as I can be |
| ‑ Am E Am | But at night I'm a junk food junkie, good Lord have pity on me. |
| C ‑ F C | Well, at lunchtime you can always find me at the Whole Earth Vitamin Bar |
| ‑ A D G | Just sucking on my plain white yogurt from my hand thrown pottery jar |
| C ‑ F C | And sippin' a little hand pressed cider with a carrot stick for dessert |
| C A DG C | And wiping my face in a natural way on the sleeve of my peasant shirt, (oh yeah) |
| Am ‑ Dm Am | Ah, but when that clock strikes midnight, and I'm all by myself |
| ‑ ‑ D G | I work that combination on my secret hideaway shelf |
| Am ‑ Dm Am | And I pull out some Fritos corn chips, Dr. Pepper and an Ole Moon Pie |
| C A DG C | Then I sit back in glorious expectation of a genuine junk food high |
| F C G C | Oh yeah, in the daytime I'm Mr. Natural, just as healthy as I can be |
| ‑ Am E Am | But at night I'm a junk food junkie, good Lord have pity on me |
| C ‑ F C | My friends down at the commune, they think I'm pretty neat |
| ‑ A D G | Oh, I don't know nothing about arts and crafts, but I give 'em all something to eat |
| C ‑ F C | I'm a friend to old Euell Gibbons and I only eat homegrown spice |
| C A DG C | I got a John Keats autographed Grecian urn filled up with my brown rice (yes I do) |
| Am ‑ Dm Am | Oh, but lately I have been spotted with a Big Mac on my breath |
| ‑ ‑ D G | Stumbling into a Colonel Sanders with a face as white as death |
| Am ‑ Dm Am | I'm afraid someday they'll find me just stretched out on my bed |
| C A DG C | With a handful of Pringles Potato Chips and a Ding Dong by my head |
| F C G C | In the daytime I'm Mr. Natural, just as healthy as I can be |
| ‑ Am E Am | But at night I'm a junk food junkie, good Lord have pity on me |